Another Year to ponder

I have really been avoiding blogging for some reason...I am like this with my journal too. If I get too far behind, I feel like I need to catch up before I can jump back in again...this becomes too overwhelming in my mind, so I put it off which puts me even more behind.

Well, this year, one of my resolutions is to live life in the moment, so here I sit on Dan's laptop writing the first blog entry in a long time. I really want to make life more of a priority this year. My kids are growing before my eyes and I feel far too often that I am just a spectator. Yes I plan fun experiences and capture it all nicely with my camera, but this year I really want to just be a mom and live in the moment...even if it means not capturing everything on "film." 

It really hit me after Natalie's birthday party that I need to have more fun with the kids instead of just planning picture perfect little cameos here and there...I want to get down on the floor with them and play more before they don't want to play anymore. I also need to work on my patience and try to teach them more. One area in particular that I need to work on is teaching them things in the kitchen. For some reason, it's hard for me to let them cook/bake with me. It just takes so much longer with their "help" that I find myself just rushing through things. Hayden especially loves to help me stir and pour things and Natalie is at the age where she can really help make meals now and Zander is more than willing to help too.

Same goes for chores around here. I certainly can use the help, I just have to get over my tendencies to want them done they way I do it...so what if their shirts aren't folded right!!! Even when I fold them, they get all wadded up in their drawers within a few days, so what could it hurt having the kids help with the laundry??? I can make myself crazy trying to figure out the best chore system. I  spend time investigating chore charts, making custom charts and then not following through with the kids...so it's all a big waste of time. I have found an online chore tracking program called Handipoints that is wonderful (www.handipoints.com). Zander loves using it...and it's free!

Another resolution I have is to get to bed earlier...like by 10. I have been a night owl for as long as I can remember...the night time is MY time and I like it that way, but it makes my day time less effective. I am already a really low energy person, so to get to bed earlier can only benefit me...and my family.

I'm hoping by getting more sleep, it will force me to be more organized, cause I will have less time in my day to do things. It would be great if I could pack the lunches and put out the kids' clothes the night before...who knows, the kids might even get to school early instead of just on time.

I've been working really hard in the gym for 8 of the past 10 days in preparation for our trip to Disneyland. (We leave on Thursday). I've worked up to 50 minutes of cardio which gets me just over 4.5 miles and 500 calories burned!!! I'm really trying to get rid of the last 10-15ish pounds. Last night I looked into tummy tucks to get rid of the loose skin around my tummy (thanks to 3 kiddos). I just about passed out after looking at the big scar though...it's in a spot that won't really be noticed, kind of like a c-section...but it is a scar none the less. I think I will re-evaluate this after spending some time with a personal trainer at the gym first. Once I get more weight off, I may not feel as desperate. As it is, my tummy is all wrinkled and gross...not sure that losing fat is going to smooth that out though. At any rate, it will be nice to be trim for our trip to Hawaii in a few months.

Well, on that note, I'm going to jump in the shower...still sweaty after today's morning workout.

It wasn't supposed to be like this!

Well, I just saw that Andrea wrote in her blog today, so I better get on the ball too! Things have been crazy here, really crazy since school has started. I feel like I just can't catch my breath and that I am always falling behind on things. This morning I was greeted by a sink full of dishes, there are clothes waiting to be ironed and folded all over my bedroom and the painting in the kitchen is only half way finished.  I have projects all over the place that are in various stages of completion and my office, well, it's a wonder the children haven't gone missing in there. It wasn't supposed to be like this. 

Waaaay back when I was in school, I had other ideas of what it would be like to be a mom. I couldn't wait to be a grown-up, with all that free time to do whatever I wanted...it was going to be great! But the sad reality is that by the time all the kids are in bed and I actually have "free time" I am sooo tired I just want to sit on the couch and watch a show...or fall asleep like I did last night.

I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, it's just that I'm so frustrated by all of my obligations and feel like I'm always letting someone down, first and foremost, myself. Dan was raised in a nice house where messes were rare. For the past 13+ years I have tried to live up to that image of a house where "everything is in it's place," but I'm really starting to go a little crazy over the whole thing. I will be the first to admit that I'm not a super tidy person, but I am able to whip things into shape and make them look nice...I just can't seem to keep them that way. I have tried different systems for cleaning, but then I find I get OCD about the whole organizational part of it all which in turn makes a bigger mess than what I had to start with. 

ugg...this is turning into a lame blog post. I guess that's what I get for blogging on a Thursday at 7:30 in the evening after a full day with kids, schedule mess ups and a sore throat. Maybe tonight I will fall asleep in my own bed instead of on the couch. Let's see if a full night's rest will change my perspective...I'm guessing it will.

Natalie's last day of first grade

Today was the day we were dreading all week...the last day of first grade. I had tried to give Natalie a heads up by warning her...only three more days of school, only two more days...and today...well, it was just plain hard to say good-bye. All week long Natalie kept saying "I don't want to be done with the first grade." It was hard even for me to write the thank you note this morning. Natalie's teacher is just one of those people who God put on this earth to teach little kids. She is truly amazing, kind and very patient. She raises the bar and they excel because she gives them the tools to succeed.
Here is Natalie sharing a painting she made for her teacher with the paints she gave her the day before.

We got her a pretty daisy to thank her for a great year.

Natalie has learned so much this year. She is now an expert on penguins and humming birds, she can read books, do double digit addition and subtraction, count money, write a simple report and read it in front of her class; she has learned new painting skills, new songs, and made new friends. It was a fun year for sure and I got to see just a small part of her experience when I volunteered on Mondays.

Of course I took lots of pictures and just like I did last year, I made a DVD slide show of the year's events. This year I was lucky enough to get to watch the slide show with the class and see their reactions...it was so much fun. They were giddy with excitement whenever a new face would appear. "that's me!" they would all cheer. It was also touching when I turned to her teacher and she had tears in her eyes. She told me she was going to have to watch it again at home with a box of Kleenex where she didn't have to keep her composure.
Here is her class, all dressed in their pajamas watching the DVD. The kids got to have a popcorn pajama party on the second to last day for receiving over 350 compliments during the year!

"Have a cool summer" ...so far it really has been cool. Let's hope it warms up a bit!

This afternoon when Natalie stepped off the school bus, I went out to meet her...and wasn't surprised one bit to see tears just streaming from her eyes. I tried my best to comfort her without falling apart myself. One thing I knew for sure would cheer her up...Ice cream!

I am continuing with our annual tradition of taking the kids out for ice cream on their last day, so she knew it was coming and it helped distract her from her sadness.

St. Patty's Day

Early in the morning, before leaving for school the kids put out their shoes for the Leprechaun (they remembered him from his visit last year!) I didn't think they would remember and didn't have my "supplies" so after picking up Zander from Pre-school, I stopped by the store and used my stealth shopping skills to buy their treats without them noticing! The kids checked their shoes promptly after coming home from school...and at least once an hour after that. Finally the Leprechaun showed up and the kids were so excited. They got Andes mints and Sunkist fruit jellies and mini gold slinkies (I couldn't find those chocolate gold coins to save my life, so I thought the slinkies would be a good substitute.)

I made the usual green eggs and ham for breakfast. For Lunch, the kid ate sandwiches with green Jello, green apple fruit roll ups and had green snap peas an a mint Oreo for dessert. Then for dinner I made corned beef and cabbage with baby red potatoes and green buttermilk biscuits.

Happy Birthday Natalie!

Today was Natalie's 7th Birthday... a very busy day for me. I volunteered for a couple hours in Natalie's class, then I decided to join her for lunch in the cafeteria...she was pretty excited to have me stay with her. When I left, I had to pick up Zander from pre-school. Then I decided to go to the store to pick up a cake for this evening, but when I got to the bakery section, there were only 2 or 3 cakes to choose from, none of which really wowed me...so we tried another store which had more selection, but nothing that I wanted to buy. I decided to leave without a cake and go home and make one myself. But first I had to stop back at Natalie's class to deliver her birthday treats. When I got there all the class was at P.E. so with Zander's help, I passed out the cinnamon rolls. Natalie was surprised to see us and the balloon we brought, but really just wanted to eat her cinnamon roll!
After she got home from school and I finished cleaning the kitchen, Natalie and I made her birthday cake.

It was a yellow cake with chocolate mousse filling and pink 7- minute frosting on top with sprinkles...perfect! Dan stopped by the florist on his way home to pick up some nice flowers for the lucky birthday girl!
At 5:00 our family started arriving for the birthday dinner...Natalie requested stuffed pasta shells. After dinner, Natalie got to open her gifts. In the photo she is holding up a dress my mom made for her new American Girl doll (which she will be opening at her party on Saturday with her friends). The doll's dress is made from the same fabric as my wedding dress!

After presents, we had cake...I wonder what she wished for?

...my little girl...is not so little anymore. Every birthday is bittersweet for me, but it seems like turning 7 is a bit harder for me to accept. In my head, my vision of motherhood usually includes little ones running around, but now it seems Natalie has gone from little girl to a big kid. Her early childhood is slipping away so fast and no matter how hard I try to hold on to my little girl, she keeps growing up. She can read, is learning to write, has her own sense of what clothes she wants to wear and loves to act crazy most of the time. I am thankful that she still loves to spend time with us and I am reminded that I need to be better at spending spontaneous time with her, having fun doing the everyday "stuff" that seems so mundane.

This Sunday we stayed with Natalie for Kid's church and it really hit me when the children's pastor said we only have influence on them for a few more years, then they become more influenced by their friends. I just pray that we can teach her how to make good choices.

Natalie is a great "little" girl and I love how enthusiastic she is about life. This weekend we will be having her Sweet Shoppe birthday party, so stay tuned for more birthday fun!

The most expensive Jessie Doll Evah!

Here's a little background info: A few Christmases ago Natalie got a Jessie doll, but it didn't come with her trademark red hat. Natalie loved her Jessie doll very much but mentioned that next year all she was going to ask of Santa was a red hat for her Jessie doll. Fast forward to Zander's last birthday when he got the Woody and Jessie set as a gift. Natalie was thrilled because this Jessie had a hat. Needless to say, the hat was a big deal to her.

Okay, so last Sunday when we went out to dinner, Natalie asked if she could bring her Jessie doll. I told her to leave it at home, but for some reason I agreed to let her bring it. Jessie came in to eat with Natalie. We enjoyed our meal, paid and left. It wasn't until we got home that she realized she didn't have the red cowgirl hat. Dan called the restaurant and they didn't have it either.

So I asked Dan if he would put the kids to bed so I could drive back to the parking lot and look for the hat. It was 20 minutes away, but it would save me a lot of anxiety if I knew it was or wasn't sitting there in the parking lot. I quickly zoomed out, driving Dan's car (the Honda). I was driving cautiously because it was dark and I wasn't 100% sure how to get there as Dan drove the first time and I wasn't really paying attention to how he got there. Then to add to my stress, a cop pulls up behind me. I am very aware he is there and hoping he turns soon. Just then his lights go on and I quickly move to the right to let him pass...only he didn't pass, he pulled up behind me!

As it turns out the plates are expired and have been since July! I quickly rummage through the glove box for the registration and proof of insurance. I hand him the registration, but cannot find the insurance card...or at least not a current one. The best I could do was a card that expired in 2005. Embarrassed as all get out I apologized to the officer and explained to him that this was my husband's car. He said other officers would tow my car away, but he would let me off with a citation. A $97 citation...Grrr Grrr Grrr! Needless to say, I was a little miffed at the thought that we have been driving illegally for 2 years...

Anyway I get to the parking lot of the restaurant and look around with only the street lights to help me see in the dark. No hat. It was nowhere to be found. So I drove home. The very next day Zander found the hat in his room. I don't even want to know how it got there!

So now that the kids are back in school, what are you doing with all your time?

If you would have asked me this question last year, I would have just laughed. At best I had about an hour and a half of free time between drop offs and pick ups at the two schools.

This year however, I have a good solid block of time...and since Natalie is now riding the bus home, I don't have to load up the boys and haul them over to the school to pick up Natalie...It has been soooo heavenly!

Although this first week of school is starting to take it's toll on me in the evenings especially, I have to say that I'm better off than I was last year. Last year at this time I had the stress of learning the routine of 2 different schools, 2 different teachers, all just months after moving to our new home.


So that brings me to the question...what are you doing with all your free time? Well, this week has been fairly productive. I've managed to mop the kitchen, go grocery shopping (where I saved $185 with my coupons), clean out both the kitchen refrigerator and the garage refrigerator (to accommodate all the new groceries) and I've gone on a walk with the boys (which took twice as long as going solo, but it was good to get out!). I've also had the usual house work to do which may actually get done this year!!! It's amazing how much more you can do when you aren't interrupted all day long. Ahhh...just sitting here enjoying my last 30 minutes before the bus arrives.
_____________________

I just wanted to let everyone know that Natalie's school is offering Entertainment books for $20 this week (sorry I realize it's already Thursday). If you are interested I can get one for you.

A Great Day to be a Kid

Today was Natalie's turn to bring her pet for show and tell. Harley was pretty mellow, but I could tell by all the hair she shed on my shirt, she was pretty nervous as well. Natalie just loved showing her classmates her cat Harley...and they all went crazy (in a good way) when they saw me come in with a cat.
Then after we picked up Zander from school we went back to Natalie's school to buy some books from the book fair. Natalie bought a book about the Little Mermaid with some money she had been saving. It was buy one, get one free, so we also got a book about penguins for Zander.

After lunch I put Hayden down for a nap, then I finished getting the pool ready to play in (aka dumping $135 worth of powdered chemicals into the pool). Half and hour later, the kids were ready to dip their feet in and splash around. The water isn't warm enough for me to get in, so I layed out next to the pool while they played.

After a while I was ready to go in the house and clean up a bit, but the kids didn't want to come in. It was such a beautiful day, I didn't have the heart to insist...so we changed gears and I taught them how to fly a kite. They were frustrated at first, but once they got the hang of it, they had a great time...especially Zander. He got so excited whenever his kite would soar, he started singing encouraging songs to his kite. "I have the best kite...it flies up so high...I love my kite...it's the best kite in the world..." I'm sure his kite appreciated the songs and in turn, it flew up higher and higher. Zander kept running all over the yard, until he ran out of umph. His cheeks were all rosy and he was tuckered out. Flying a kite can be good exercise!

Now Dan is home from advising at the college, so I guess it's time for me to make dinner.

The Best Mother's Day so Far!

My Mother's Day really started at the end of last week as the kids were bringing home the gifts they made in school. Natalie and Zander were both excited to show me what they had been working on and wanted me to open their gifts right away. Zander made a colorful vase and flowers (made from egg cartons) and Natalie painted a little flower pot with a heart and flowers all around. Then on Saturday Dan bought me a dozen roses!!! I have never been given a dozen roses before, so I was pretty excited.
Dan had been hinting that we had big plans to celebrate Mother's Day, but everything was top secret. Even the kids were in on it. I was so curious. Then we headed out on Hwy 26 and I thought we could be going to one of 2 places...a restaurant in Sandy or Mt. Hood. As it turns out, our neighbors behind us told Dan all about the Mother's day brunch at Timberline Lodge they go to every year and invited all of us to come along.
It had been about 10 years since we had been up there. For the most part the drive up was cloudy and overcast, but when we got to Timberline, (3000+ feet above sea level), we were above all the clouds and it was actually a nice day!

The buffet was huge and took up most of the area with the fireplace. They set it up really nice with beautiful flowers and vintage dresses on display... then there was all the food. Unbelievable... it was on par with the food you see on cruise ships.

Our neighbors come here a lot. I could tell as everyone seemed to know them, the greeters, the waitresses...even the chef. They all came over to our table to say hello. They were even able to order something that wasn't on the menu...Timber Toast, which is a very fancy version of French toast. Actually, I don't think they really ordered it, when the chef saw them come in, he made up a batch just for all of us because he remembered they always request it. Now that's service! We were all very impressed...and after tasting it, I can see why they always request it...very yummy. (possible future Fabulous Food Friday).
I passed up dessert and went back for a few more bites of my favorites...baked brie, salmon, baked risotto, eggs and fruit.
Zander on the other hand, went for the chocolate fountain where he dipped a big marshmallow and ate it in one big gooey chocolate bite.
After brunch, we all went out side to play in the snow for awhile before heading back down the mountain.

On our way home, we stopped off to see Dan's mom, give her her gifts and wish her a happy Mother's day. We couldn't stay long because we had to hurry back and meet my family back at our house to celebrate my mom's birthday which fell on Mother's day this year. We had a salad/sandwich buffet and dessert later on...but we all got so carried away, we forgot to sing happy birthday. It was a busy day packed full of good memories.

What's up with Preschoolers anyway?

Today was a typical day for us: school, play dates, housework, make dinner...the usual. Well just about 5 minutes before my dinner was ready to come out of the oven, Zander comes running to me crying because there is paint all over his clothes. Why is there paint all over his clothes you may be wondering...Well, while I was upstairs for no longer than 5 minutes, Zander thought it would be a good idea to bring a can of paint into the new play tent that was set up in the living room. Not only did he bring it in there, but somehow it got tipped over. The top wasn't hammered down well, so about 2 cups of oil-based primer spilled inside the tent and somehow landed on Zander as well. It got on his warm up jacket and his school jeans. I was past the point of being furious, I just wanted to get the paint out ASAP. I took the food out of the oven and dished up the kids, then drove like a mad women to Bi-mart (the only store around besides the grocery store) to track down some paint thinner. After reading a half dozen labels I came home with what I thought would do the trick. It said it was safe to clean natural and synthetic paintbrushes so I took a gamble and hoped it would be safe for the nylon tent as well. After calling my parents in a panic I headed outside in the dark of night and started in on the clothes first. It was clear that the jeans were a lost cause, so I moved on to the warm up jacket (40% polyester) Success! It was coming out. I managed to wipe away almost all of the paint, except near the zipper. Now on to the tent. By this time I noticed that I had gotten some paint onto my jeans, so I took a break and scrubbed them and changed into paint clothes. After about 30 minutes of pure turpentine bliss, I somehow got it all out. At least all that I could see by the light of the full moon. I will have to revisit it tomorrow when I can see better.

So my question remains unanswered: What is up with Preschoolers? When Natalie was this age she decided to color her almost new comforter with my lipstick. Another time I walked in on her only to be informed in a yet small voice "I cutted my hair mommy." These darling preschoolers who look so innocent have such innovative ways of destroying things. Never underestimate the power and might of the wee little ones, for they are capable of doing things unimaginable to us, the parents. Their reasoning is like no other. Don't even bother asking them why they do these things. They have a secret weapon: Ignorance. By using phrases such as "I don't know," (as they look up at us with their sad puppy dog eyes), we are forced to respond back with "what do you mean you don't know?" To which they reply with another "I don't know." We as parents are powerless against such logic (or lack thereof) and so we just send them to their room or time-out chair or whatever until we can think of what on earth we are going to do with them.

Never a dull moment around here. Hope your day was less messy than mine.

For the record...

Being a mom is a pretty great job if you ask me. You get to play and laugh and watch your kids do all kinds of funny and not so funny things. One of the hardest parts for me is watching them grow up so fast. It is great to watch them develop through each stage, but I want to make a better effort at remembering them the way they are, right now. Even though I do a lot of scrapbooking and it seems like I keep almost every school project they do, I have a lot of mommy guilt for not taking the time to jot things down along the way. The following post is all about Hayden. It is more a reference for me, so I can look back and remember what it was like when he was so young, cause it goes too fast. During the week I will write about Zander and Natalie too. I hope this helps you get to know my kiddos better too. Enjoy!

How much is too much?

A couple times a day, Zander comes to me and tells me "mom, after I am done, you will wipe okay." So I wait, listen for the call to action and then I march myself into the bathroom and help my son wipe. At first I didn't mind this responsibility, it kind of just came with the territory, but a year later and he is still asking me to wipe.

So the other day, I encouraged him to try to wipe all by himself...Well as you can see, he did. He kept wiping and wiping until "mom, the toilet won't flush." I guess that's what you get for encouraging independence. Now I think I will educate him on how much is enough. This must be a universal problem with preschoolers, because someone out there came up with the brilliant, idea for this toilet paper. Before this incident, I thought it was completely frivolous, but now I think I am seeing the light.
And yes, that is a PINK toilet! I love, love, love pink, but not a big fan of the pink commode.

It's that time of year...

...when I start to feel really anxious about the upcoming holidays. I am already starting to feel the pressure now that Thanksgiving is quickly approaching. How are we going to fit it all in? How can we manage to visit with everyone without someone feeling left out...and without feeling burnt out from trying to do it all. Instead of being something I look forward to, it seems that Thanksgiving, Christmas and the plethora of birthdays that come from November to Christmas are just something I dread. I don't like feeling like things are so out of my control, but this time of year, they really are.

Before Dan and I first got married I was used to celebrating Christmas with my family at my parent's house on Christmas eve and then just hanging out in my pj's all day on Christmas. It was layed back...we rarely went anywhere. Now that we are married the holiday get-togethers have multiplied. So now, in addition to my family of origin, we also have separate celebrations with Dan's paternal grandparents, his immediate family (since the divorce this means 2 get-togethers instead of 1) then we also have Dan's maternal extended family to spend time with, which sometimes means a trip out of town. If you are keeping track, that is 5, count them FIVE Christmas "parties" (only one of which is with my family of origin and that one has to be shared on the same night as his grandparent's get-together). Oh yea, then I guess we get Christmas morning to ourselves with the kids before we have to get up and go somewhere to "enjoy" spending the holidays with family.

So I have 5 family Christmas obligations plus our own family time for a total of 6 Christmases, 7 family birthdays (Becca, Dad, Natalie, Andrea, Zander, Aaron and John), 2 kids Christmas/holiday school programs, 2 school Christmas/holiday parties, 2 school birthday celebrations...and a pooped Alyssa by the end of the month. Not to mention that the kids are literally OVERWHELMED by gifts. They actually get tired of opening presents...can you imagine how many toys we have...it is unreal. I am not trying to sound ungrateful but it is really bordering on ridiculous. I wish I could come up with a brilliant solution that could make everyone happy, but at this point everyone, including me, has their own idea of what Christmas means to them and who am I to say that they have to change their idea because it is troublesome to me? I am a "people pleaser" and have a hard time saying no for fear of disappointing people.

As it turns out, I guess I'm the one who really feels disappointed because we can't effectively establish our own traditions when we seem to feel obligated to live out everyone else's traditions. My friends used to tell me it would get better once we had kids...that we could set up our own family traditions at home and family would understand...so I had hope, but it has actually gotten worse. Now everyone wants to make sure they see the kids for Christmas. I will admit that I do enjoy myself and the family we are with, once we are there, but bottom line...it's too much "fun" for one month.

I guess if I was used to all this busyness I might enjoy it more, but in the 11 years of marriage, I still find myself hating it. I feel I can never fully relax and enjoy where I am because there is always something else to get ready for. I know I sound like I am whining...and well, I am. Sometimes I need to whine a little before I take a deep breath and jump right in. How else could I get through the holidays with my perm-a-smile and my "I'm doing fine" greeting?

Earlier this week I ordered all the party goodies for Natalie and Zander's upcoming birthdays. I plan for their birthdays well in advance. I have to because they compete with Christmas. When Natalie was a baby, I decided I would do everything in my power to make her birthday stand out from all the festivities of Christmas. Having a dad, a brother and a sister all with December birthdays, I saw how often they got presents wrapped in Christmas wrap, teddy bears with Santa hats for gifts and birthday parties cancelled due to weather or sickness. It is a total bummer, so I wanted to make sure that my kids didn't get over looked. Then when Zander came along 2 years and 2 weeks later I knew that December was going to be tough.

I kind of overcompensate by throwing big birthday parties, but it's fun for me to plan everything, so I don't mind one bit. The kids love it and that's what matters most to me...their happiness.

So, now that I have shared my tales of woe, I am ready to deck the halls, play the Christmas music, fill the stocking and put on my happy face. I promise not to turn into the Grinch...just as long as I can have a nice BIG glass of wine (whine) as needed!