Lessons Learned from Watching the Brady Bunch

There is no show I watched more growing up than the Brady Bunch. We used to see who could be the first to guess which episode it was going to be. Name that episode. I could usually tell within the first 20-30 seconds...To this day I still love the show...in all it's cheezy Brady goodness! Just last night I caught a few minutes of the TV Land Awards where the Brady Bunch received the Pop Culture award. I must admit, I almost teared up when Ann B. Davis (Alice) got a really long standing O. What can you say about the Brady's they taught us so many valuable life lessons. Here are a few (well 120 to be exact) lessons ...these should bring back some memories and put a smile on your face. Unless you are my husband who just doesn't appreciate pop culture like I do. By the way, can you believe "Marcia" is 50!!!


Lessons Learned from Watching the Brady Bunch

1. Mom always said, don't play ball in the house.
2. Lemon juice does not remove freckles.
3. Always wear your glasses especially when having a family photograph done.
4. Brush your hair 100 strokes each night
5. It's bad karma to say, "Something suddenly came up."
6. Always remember that big sister will be prettier and more popular than you.
7. All of life's problems and disasters can be fixed in 30 minutes!!!
8. Do not open an umbrella when the car top is down.
9. Don't borrow your Mom's 'Cleopatra" earrings
10. When serving pork chops, applesauce makes a lovely side dish
11. Never lie and say youre dying of a dreaded disease just to get Joe Namath's autograph
12. If you want Davy Jones to come to your house, just tell him
13. When in Hawaii, best to leave that little carved tiki god where you found it. Don't pick it up!
14. Any major family disagreement or dispute can be settled with either a card house building contest or a potato sack race.
15. Sometimes when it's time to change, you've got to rearrange.
16. Do not hide a fragile present in the garage.
17. Don't trust your kids with your important work documents...especially at amusement parks.
18. If you get hit in the face with a football, your nose WILL be flattened
19. hiding the school mascot live goat in your attic bedroom is not such a good idea.
20. Be yourself.. don't buy big black frizzy wigs
21. Always test the volcano around your sister's snobby friends!
22. If you go to the Grand Canyon, don't let the kids wander off alone
23. If you save someone and become a local hero, don't go around telling everyone. They won't like you!
24. It's not good to idolize Jesse James.
25. that you only need a little bit of soap in the washing machine...
26. engraving is 15 cents PER LETTER..not for the whole silver platter
27. Carol singing on christmas morning will heal the world
28. a pay phone in the house could be cool
29. a house of cards will eventually fall (thank you tiger)
30. Astroturf is much better than grass in the backyard.
31. Six kids CAN share two bedrooms, one bath, one TV and one phone... and still live harmoniously at the end of the half hour.
32. When I feel left out I can make up a boyfriend named George uh, Glass. George Glass. He'll carry my books and think I'm super cool!
33. I learned that a flashlight makes an excellent hiding place for hot dogs and some baked beans.
34. Don't get yourself locked in an old jail cell in a ghost town!
35. I learned that when a bully picks on your little sister for her "lisp" problem....you just punch the bully in the mouth and then he will have a "lisp" too!
36. Hanging upside down on the swingset will not make you taller!
37. Never have both the cat and the dog at the wedding. It's either one or the other!
38. When you have an allergic reaction, don't always blame the dog.
39. Sometimes you have to compromise when deciding what to get with your trading stamps.
40. Never sleep with your locket on. It may fall out the window.
41. It's not easy making a film about pilgrims.
42. Peter makes a cute Sunflower Girl.
43. Make sure that you get plenty of rest before attempting to set a new teeter totter record.
44. If you have to go to court due to a fender bender, throw your brief case on the floor to see if the other person really has whiplash.
45. The safety monitor is usually a very unpopular person.
46. Just because your dentist asks if you are free on Friday night, it does not mean he is asking you out for a date.
47. Never judge a cheerleading competition if your sister is a contestant.
48. One kiss from Millicent does not give you the mumps.
49. You can always use an egg to determine who the better driver is.
50. Your cousin Oliver may not really be the jinx that you think he is.
51. Never buy hair tonic from your brother.
52. When going on a trip, always wear a belt and socks, never know when you will need to tie them together to escape out of jail
53. Don't call some NASA expert even if you're SURE there's a UFO outside.
54. If you're the hall monitor at school, DON'T take you're work home with you.
55. Frogs and pizza don't mix.
56. And no matter how many times you practice, "Hark!" "Who goes there!?" you're going to screw it up on opening night...
57. Before signing a record deal, find out if you're only there because you "fit the suit"
58. Dressing up like Shirley Temple is a dumb idea.
59. Making a Thanksgiving play with your family is fun.
60. It is okay to wear your glasses, it keeps you from wrecking your bike.
61. If you get fired from the bicycle shop, you should tell your family, not keep faking like you are going to work.
62. If you don't want your parents to sell your house, then lead potential buyers into thinking it is haunted.
63. If your voice is changing, you should record a song about it.
64. Dad's office can be transformed into a groovy pad man.
65. If you don't have a date for Saturday night, you can always square dance with your family in the living room.
66. Don't get all snobby when they pick you to play Juliet.
67. Don't make election promises you can't keep.
68. When on vacation, families always sing "My Darling Clementine" in the car.
69. Sometimes if you are really cute, mommy AND Daddy can see your class play in a special performance.
70. Any school election called "Most Popular Girl" and "Most Popular Boy" can never have nice consequences!
71. If you're going to be a Women's Libber, be prepared to hike with the Boy Scouts!
72. If you have an ugly teacher, don't sketch the picture of George Washington on the wall.
73. If you ever get in front of a tv camera, never look directly at the little red light
74. If you get picked to do a television commercial, don't act like a bunch of 'squares' .....and don't take acting lessons from Myrna.
75. It's okay to grow up and look like Aunt Jenny. Beauty is on the inside.
76. Pie in the face can be a real career killer. Just ask cousin Oliver.
77. One is never too young to set a world record. Especially the see-saw record. Oh, and throw in some big yawns for extra cuteness.
78. Don't forget to bring a cut-out of a bear when you're camping, just in case you want to scare your brothers.
79. If the city is going to build something on your park, just interrupt years of research and development by proposing to put it at the city dump. They'll go for the idea in a second!
80. Want to stand out from your pretty older and younger sister? Wear a funky wig!
81. If you're eavesdropping on your housekeeper, make sure you know who's really engaged before throwing a surprize party. She really might be bowling that night.
82. If you save a little girl and get rewarded, don't throw a party if you've spent all the time bragging about it. No one will come.
83. Make friends with the Dittmyers. They just might invite you to their barbeque.
84. Don't be afraid to have braces at the school dance. The cutest guy in school will fly off the handle bars of his bike and will need them too.
85. The capital of Lousiana is Baton Rouge
86. A poster of Yogi Bear does not make a good architectural presentation.
87. If you don't win the ice cream eating contest and get ice cream for a whole YUUUUUMMMY Year, your family will give you a pity prize trophy and a large ice cream sundae.
88. You can buy your little sister a secret admirer for just a real Kennedy half dollar! He'll do anything for it!!!!
89. Ask Santa for a miracle and it will happen!
90. Always take your kids on your honeymoon!
91. Sometimes it's better to just paint the backdrops.
92. Never date, "the big man on campus!" He is shallow and will dump you if your nose gets a little swollen and bruised
93. Never stop in a ghost town on your way to the Grand Canyon....Mr. Howell from Gilligan's Island might lock you up in jail for tying to steal his claim!
94. F-F-FIL-L-L-LMO-O-O-ORE FILMORE JR. HIGH!
95. If you're putting on a play of Snow White in your backyard, better get a permit in case some random cop at the grocery store asks you about it.
96. Everyone wants to be Dopey.
97. Listen closely to the Department store guy. He charges PER LETTER, Jan!
98. If you hide your diary in the garage behind the old books and it gets donated to charity you just might get to meet Desi Arnez Jr.!
99. Never date the football player of the rival team...he'll try to steal your brother's play book!!
100. Don't try to get your random freak twin named Arthur to help you date two different girls on the same night.
101. If you try to woo a girl the way Cyrano did, it's only going to backfire and she'll really just want Greg instead.
102. When you grow up, you get to move into the attic, but check with your sister first because she may have the same idea.
103. It would be an engineering nightmare to build a cosmetics factory that opened up like a compact.
104. Always carry your macrame handbag with you on tours of old ghost towns. You can always use it to get the key to the jail and free your family.
105. - Don't forget the apple for the Snow White play in your backyard.
106. - "The only steps in this house are those....leading right up to your room, Bobby."
107. - You can save your football team by blowing up the pictures you took on the sideline in your bathroom photo lab.
108. - You can make your housekeeper really happy by taking a picture of her near her recipe written on the chalkboard.
109. - Don't say nasty things about Mr. Phillips' boat when he calls after you've had your tonsils out.
110. Never, ever wear your charm bracelet while building a house of cards
111. No one likes a tattletale!!!
112. Never bet on how many chin ups you can do!
113. When you kiss you can see fireworks and possibly get the mumps.
114. Grandpa Brady and Grandma Hutchins make a cute couple.
115. It's not a good idea to idolize a cold blooded gun totin gangster
116. If Kitty Carry All turns up missing, check the dog house.
117. When your sisters are having a slumber party, itching powder in the sleeping bags is good for a few laughs
118. Never trust anyone who tells you that you are "groovy from all angles."
119. All the super glue in the world won't fix mom's favorite vase.
120. The more fringe on your dance costume the better...oh and beaded headbands.