It wasn't supposed to be like this!

Well, I just saw that Andrea wrote in her blog today, so I better get on the ball too! Things have been crazy here, really crazy since school has started. I feel like I just can't catch my breath and that I am always falling behind on things. This morning I was greeted by a sink full of dishes, there are clothes waiting to be ironed and folded all over my bedroom and the painting in the kitchen is only half way finished.  I have projects all over the place that are in various stages of completion and my office, well, it's a wonder the children haven't gone missing in there. It wasn't supposed to be like this. 

Waaaay back when I was in school, I had other ideas of what it would be like to be a mom. I couldn't wait to be a grown-up, with all that free time to do whatever I wanted...it was going to be great! But the sad reality is that by the time all the kids are in bed and I actually have "free time" I am sooo tired I just want to sit on the couch and watch a show...or fall asleep like I did last night.

I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, it's just that I'm so frustrated by all of my obligations and feel like I'm always letting someone down, first and foremost, myself. Dan was raised in a nice house where messes were rare. For the past 13+ years I have tried to live up to that image of a house where "everything is in it's place," but I'm really starting to go a little crazy over the whole thing. I will be the first to admit that I'm not a super tidy person, but I am able to whip things into shape and make them look nice...I just can't seem to keep them that way. I have tried different systems for cleaning, but then I find I get OCD about the whole organizational part of it all which in turn makes a bigger mess than what I had to start with. 

ugg...this is turning into a lame blog post. I guess that's what I get for blogging on a Thursday at 7:30 in the evening after a full day with kids, schedule mess ups and a sore throat. Maybe tonight I will fall asleep in my own bed instead of on the couch. Let's see if a full night's rest will change my perspective...I'm guessing it will.